Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Needy Person

well, hi
(used to)have no idea how my life would be when im alone
i know i never really alone, i have my God
i have my Family, i have you...
(also lot of new friends)

but the fact is...i sleep alone, i wake up everyday and go on with my life,
alone

and everyday, i keep my faith on me
try to understand that it's just the beginning
i will survive and be the one i once commited to be
the one my family expected me to be
----even with us, hunny
i believe; you and i will made this
but its just (used to be) not that simple, i can also see the desperate me
the messy me...
that was the thought that stuggle me on the same exact day i tried to keep my own faith

i was always thinking that i need you everyday, need my family either
----need means to be always and always around
      need means to always have
      need means to be supported
      and need here is also mean to have direct contact
     everyday----


but then i realize

i've been so far from gravity
and getting close to uncontroled fearness
i shouldn't be that way again. i need to learn and not to be afraid of anything.
i have you, to encourage me everytime... (p.s so do you)
and today, i can fully understand that i can hurt you by saying i feel lonely...
today, i can feel my own heart and soul become stronger that it used to be

likely later i won't say "aku gamau balik ke nangor"
bc i know later someone will say
 "kayak baru pertama aja"